OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
