My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
