I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
