have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you would pick up someone in the library
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My vagina is officially offended.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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