Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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