If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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