Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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