Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
