He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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