she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
