Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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