It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
