OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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