So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
