Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
