I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
