he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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