i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
