Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
