Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
