Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
