My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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