if i can run in heels then i can drive
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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