My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
