Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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