so that wasnt chicken after all
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
