We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
