we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
