Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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