There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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