I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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