you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
