You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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