about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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