So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
