This girl is more easily done than said...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
