I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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