At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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