Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
