There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
