do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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