Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
NoShamevember. You game?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
