i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
