We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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