so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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