youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
4 words: hood of his car
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
