i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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