She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
