okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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