Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
