i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
