I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
